What some people won't do...

... for cheap shit. Traffic is at a standstill in my town today because some local evangelical church is offering gas at 99 cents a gallon. According to their website, the stunt aims "to serve our community in a practical way that demonstrates God's love. We ain't trying to raise money, convert people, or make a statement. All we want to do is remind our neighbors of a simple truth: whether they drive a Hummer or a Honda, God loves them!"

I'm not really sure God had fuel economy in mind with that whole Love Thy Neighbor thing, but who am I to understand theology? What I do know is that God certainly doesn't want us spending out Sunday idling in our cars, wasting gas just to get cheaper gas. Hey, it's basic economics, not the Bible that teaches about opportunity costs and my guess is that spending three hours on a gorgeous day going absolutely nowhere just to save a few bucks won't satisfy God, Jesus or John Maynard Keynes.

...to save face. A study released on Saturday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that the U.S. has underreported the HIV infection rate in this country to the tune of 16,300 new cases. When you extrapolate the 40% over the past 15 years of subpar reporting, you get an additional 225,000 new infections.

So if the old adage goes that 95% of all statistics are wrong - then where does that leave us? And never mind me, what about all the gay and bisexual men and all the African American men and women who are disproportionately affected by the disease? It's pretty common knowledge that the Bush administration has thrown plenty of money at AIDS overseas in order to look good in the global community, but meanwhile has drastically reduced spending at home for AIDS education, prevention and comprehensive sex education. With "Angels in America" screening on LOGO last night, it's a good reminder for all of us to be careful.

...to work on their tans. I was in South Florida this past week. Yep, that's right - God's very own waiting room, Boca Raton. And not just anywhere in Boca. I spent three nights and four days at the exclusive Boca Club and Resort. Unfortunately, I missed the beach and spa and marina in lieu of touring various meeting rooms for three and a half hours at a time. But, man did that night swim feel good. And those 20 minutes by the pool in my clothes, priceless.

Should you ever find yourself in South Florida on someone else's bank account, I highly recommend the Boca Club. They leave little key lime cookies on your pillow, make fantastic pomegranate mojitos and the hotel is simply beautiful (if bubble gum pink from the outside). Just be sure to bring Uncle Leo - you may need him to claim the early bird special.