Sunday, February 15, 2009

Waste Not...

I generally don't post about events that happen to me, in order to preserve some modicum of anonymity and privacy. But every once in a while, something happens to me that is so ridiculous, I feel there is a benefit to the rest of world in sharing the story.

Recently, I started making coffee at home. Raised on instant decaf, I had little coffee making experience from which to draw, but I also knew that it was a skill I should probably master. So strong was my belief in the importance of coffee dexterity, that I included it on my 3o By 30 list. I had a French press taking up kitchen counter space, so I bought some beans, wantonly ground them in the grocery store, and took them home.

Anyone who has used a French press will know that while it's an incredibly easy method for brewing, not using a filter means you have all these coffee grounds just sitting there in the bottom of the pot. You can never adequately get them all into the trash can without the use of a spatula and they tend to shoot out all over the place when you go to rinse them out.

Every time I wanted coffee, I had to deal with the unpleasant task of trashing the grounds. And in these troubled economic times, I hesitated to thoughtlessly throw anything away (here are 10 much better ideas). So I decided that the best thing to do with yesterday's used coffee grounds would be to cool them off in a Tupperware, mix them with some baking soda and use them to exfoliate in the shower.

Once dripping wet and naked, I squirted a liberal amount of shower gel into the container and proceeded to spread the concoction onto my body.

Now, a logical person like yourself may have thought of the potential mess such an idea would engender much earlier in the execution process. But then you wouldn't be me. It took me about one thigh and most of my stomach before I realized that the grounds might be too coarse to fit down the drain... and that it might stain my tub... and that it kinda smelled weird to combine coffee and sea minerals shower gel.

Never one to let a little mess get in my way of what I thought was a good idea at the time, I finished exfoliating before embarking on the imperative task of cleaning the shower. Whatever environmentally-pious intentions I had were completely obliterated by the amount of water I needed to clean the curtain, the soap dish, the tile and the space between my toes.

Maybe not everything should be recycled.


Phyllis Sommer said...

i'm trying not to cry as i laugh so hard. i have done things like this too....sometimes we out-think ourselves, don't we!?:-)

SuperRaizy said...

Oh, boy, that's some story. Maybe tomorrow you could try brushing your teeth with cheesecake (- ;

Josh said...

"Once dripping wet and naked..." Woah, I don't know what type of a blog you're trying to write here! :)