Blogger's note: The computer ate this post the last time I typed it up and I've been out of town for a few days so it has taken me a while to catch up. Only one or two more left from Cancun, I promise!
There are times when even the most rebellious among us must concede that our mothers were right about something... never talk to strangers.
Tonight I made a little excursion downstairs to find out if my calling card worked. It didn't, so I made a stop at the bar because I'd seen someone there who I'd met earlier in the week. My acquaintance was talking to some guy I hadn't seen yet and who was both a little drunk and very European. It was quickly mentioned that I am single which was both slightly embarrassing and rather inconvenient. The dude, who's half-Polish, half-German and inexplicably speaks Spanish, speaks very limited English but knows enough to randomly invite me to his brother's home in Spain. He also begins to quiz me about my dating status. In light of the fact that he kept touching my arm, hip and shoulder, I quickly invented a boyfriend. "Why is he not here with you?" he asked."Oh, well I planned this trip 6 months ago and I've only been seeing this guy for about 2 months so it was too late for him to make plans," I quickly replied, mentally patting myself on the back for such quick thinking.
"Do you think he is the one?" he inquired. Drawing on my Spanish skills, I said, "Vamos a ver, we'll see."
He then asked, "Will you go directly to the priest for a blessing when you get home?"
In Spanish, I answered that I'm not Catholic and that I'm a Jew.
He literally backed off about six feet. This, not the revelation that I have a boyfriend is what finally got him out of my face. Already plotting my escape, he proceeds to call my fictitious boyfriend a “pussy.” Of course, he knows this English epithet.
Here I draw the line and to quote Carrie Bradshaw, I can’t have anyone talking shit about my boyfriend. I thank him for the company and hightail it out of there.
Comfortably ensconced in my hotel room with Saturday Night Live reruns, I wanna give a little shout out to my mom who taught me to never talk to stranger. Happy Birthday Mom!