Sunday, September 9, 2007

Good on Paper

There's a widely-circulated theory in the world of dating about the "good on paper" guy or girl. The general gist is that given the right pedigree of education, job type and status, domicile and family relationships that one's dating target will yield suitable results. Of course, with the law of averages sometimes the person may prove better on paper than in real life.
Case in point: a few years ago I dated a classically attractive guy who was about to embark on a master's degree in international relations, had traveled throughout Thailand and called his mother weekly. Too bad he had no sex drive and treated me badly. So much for all those Ivy League dating advertisements.

But what happens when you encounter someone who isn't necessarily good on paper? Does that mean that perhaps he/she will prove all your preconceived theories wrong and be that incredible person you've been waiting for? I guess I ask because my current dating scene has put me in that milleu.
Bachelor #1 is 30, Jewish, an accountant in New York City and has a ragingly bad Jersey accent. He comes from a similar Jewish background to me. He's a huge Giants fan and even has tickets, but is overweight, lost a year of salary to disability and lives in an apartment with his mother. In the algebra of good on paper dating, this guy barely makes the grade.
Bachelor #2 goes against every logical assumption I've made about the kind of guy I want to date. He never went to college, isn't Jewish, served 2 years in the Navy, doesn't own a car and I had to drive on our first date. Oh, and did I mention he lives above a funeral home where he also happens to work? And yet, it was a great date.

I think at the end of the day, the theories about dating and relationships are simply that. Human chemistry often overrides any conceptual or pre-ordained objections and generally finds a way to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. Who knows where any of these entanglements will take me in the new year, but they're sure to provide excellent material for this blog.


SaraK said...

So many married people that I know have said that their spouse is not at all what they had expected to marry, so you never know...

Judi said...

I think it has a lot to do with the law of inverse levels of expectations.