St. Mordechai's Day

Tomorrow night marks the start of Purim, Judaism's most raucous holiday. Granted, its competition includes Yom Kippur, the observance of which features a 25-hour abstention from food, drink, sex, leather shoes, perfume and jewelry plus a lot of time in synagogue. Observance of Purim on the other hand involves giving gifts to friends and the poor plus customs of dressing up, eating fruit-filled cookies and getting drunk.

When I was a kid, Purim was one of my favorite holidays. We got to recycle and reconfigure our homemade Halloween costumes and my dad usually went out in drag. Plus, we could never be late for services since my family owned the only copy of the megillah, or scroll read on the holiday. And even though I didn't really get to enjoy it to its fullest extent, it was a great thrill to watch all the adults get drunk. Seriously - it's a custom to get so plastered on schnapps and Crown Royal that you cannot discern between "cursed be Haman and blessed by Mordechai," the villan and hero of the Purim story.

For its striking resemblance to Halloween and dilligent adherance to the official Jewish holiday formula, "They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat," I would like to set forth a motion to the general Jewish public that we move to do a little better job promoting Purim. If everyone is a little Irish on St. Patrick's Day, then why can't everyone be a little Jewish on Purim? I'm not advocating for a wholesale commercialization of the holiday, I'm just asking all those Jews who control the media to get the word out about Purim.

Just in case any Madison Avenue Jewish executives are reading my blog, here are some suggestions:

• Purim - because it's easier to say than HalloGayPrideCarnivSt.Pat Day
• Esther vs. Vashti - the original Desperate Housewives
• You don't have to be Jewish to celebrate Purim, but it helps

Whatever you do tomorrow night, here's to a Chag Purim Sameakh (Happy Purim) and besides, if you're struggling for the perfect costume, just go as Client #1-8.